Crescent Sun
by Sorain
Summary: This is a one shot of what happened to Jacob right after the end of Eclipse, as of now it is a one shot but I may decide to continue it.


I ran for what felt like years, every step pushing me farther away from the trivial human emotions, away from that stupid concept of love, away from her

I ran for what felt like years, every step pushing me farther away from the trivial human emotions, away from that stupid concept of love, away from _her_. I had no idea were I was anymore, nor did I really care all that much, I paid little attention to my surroundings, I had been on auto Pilate for so long that running was an automatic motion. It took no effort on my part. I wondered if that was a good thing or just meant that my mind was free to contemplate my errors. Why did I peruse her with such effort? I knew that it was a long shot, I willfully put my heart on the chopping block. Was the pain im feeling now anything less that deserved? The more I thought about it the bigger the whole in my chest burrowed which made me think about Bella even more. Were these the withdrawal symptoms that she had suffered from loss of that drug she referred to as _Edward?_ The moment his name went through my mind the whole in my chest, that had be full of sorrow , began to be counter attacked with anger. Instead of fighting it, I welcomed it. Anger I was used to, it was almost my natural emotion. But sorrow, sorrow such as this…I just did not know how to deal with. How could I, I was only sixteen and already had to deal with so much.

The war inside my head was interrupted with the feeling of awareness that I really had hoped that I was through with, it seems that their was no limit to this curse of our pack._ "Where are you? You realize that Billy is worried sick, he is threatening to call the Cullens to help find you_" It was Sams voice. It was afraid of this, I knew that I could not have gone unwanted for very long. But how long had it really been? Days, weeks, hell it could have been months. My feet started to slow on their own until I felt one solid patch of dirt under my feat. I stood and sighed the deepest breath that I could muster and responded," I'm fine, Do not come look for me. I will return eventually" Sam did not seam pleased with this answer, he more than anyone understood why I did what I did. He understood more than anyone the type of emotional freedom from being in wolf form. _"That is unacceptable Jacob. You need to be home tomorrow by sundown or we will be coming to get you……Im sorry Jake.. But your still part of the pack, as long as you are then you have duties to honor. Ill be seeing you."_ Sams voice, as well as his mind, faded out. All I could do was stand their, my paws dug into the dirt with my anger. Come back? I sighed and turned around in the exact direction that I had been running. I knew the way back, rather I knew my own scent well enough to know how to get back, if not to directly the way I came, close enough.

In a matter of hours I was back in Washington. As I got closer to the Forks area I could smell her. The pain returned almost in an instant. I sighed and took the long way around, past Port Angeles and through Beaver all the way down to La Push. The cool wet air was familiar, right now I hated familiar. Almost all at once the entire pack was in my head. All chewing me out at the same time, _"Where the hell have you been!...""I had to do double night shifts because of you!!" "Bring your ass back here now!" " Hahaha your gonna get in trouble!"_ Eventually I could not take it anymore. Phasing back was an option but I had no cloths at all. I would have to endure for alittle longer.

The stream of scolding's that I was forced to listen too only got worse the entire way to my house. I phased then walked in the door and waited to be yelled at by Billy. I was surprised to see that he was not even here. Where could he have gone? A man in a wheel chair could not have gotten far on his own. I searched house up and down but he was really not their, maybe he was out with Charlie, I determined. I grabbed the phone off of the counter and plopped down on the living room chair. My heavy body sunk deep down inside the cushion. "Hello. Hey Charile….Yea im fine, umm I went to a doctor out of state…yea…im good trust me… You wouldn't happen to know where Billy is would you?..." My heart skipped more beats that humanly possible, the fact that I was still breathing was nothing short of a merical. _"You mean they haven't told you yet? That's strange I thought you knew.. Im really sorry Jacob, If you want I could drive you down to the hospital" _Charile was obviously trying to make me feel better but right now I was in the worse emotional state I could possibly be in. Why did these things keep happening to me? These pains seemed to follow me, heart break, worry, anger, frustration. But where was the happiness?" No..Ill drive myself" I hung up the phone without saying good bye, went and got some cloths and then headed out the door where my Rabbit awaited me.

I drove so far over the speed limit that if their had been anyone else on the road that their would probably be an accident. The entire way all I could think was _why.why.why.why_ Worry compelled me, this was by far the worst thing that I could imagine and at the worse time. Part of my felt guilty that only a days ago I thought that the end of my world would be from loosing a female, but I now realized that their were worse things. How could I do this to Billy, to have him worry like this. If he was not alright then I did not know how I would deal. It was a visous cycle that was driving me insane. I wanted to get rid of the emotion, but the only way to do that was to phase the only real way to end the emotions was in death and by phasing I was making my troubled life longer. I did not know what was the right path, nor did I care. All I wanted to do was see my Father..

My car skidded to a hualt right in the middle of the parking lot, several unnamed security guards shook their battons at me and yelled random curses at me. I didn't care, they could scrap the car it would make little difference to me. At the front counter a wizened women with graying white hair sat behind the counter. Her out of date make up made her look like a sad rodio clown. "I am here to see Billy Black!" I demanded in haste. The lady looked up from her book and blowed the biggist bubble gum balloon that I had ever seen in life, "What's your relation?" she questioned, "Im his son, please just tell me where he is" I was beginning to get inpatient. She looked me up and down and then typed some random bull shit into the computer and looked at me again," He already has three visitors, hes at his limit. Its un healthy for him to have more than three people around him talking at once. Plus it distracts other patients from their rest" My arms and legs trembled with anger. I locked my grip aroung my right arm to hold it steady, "Ma'am, with all due respect….. I will look in every room in this entire building until I find him. Just tell the damned room number and I will be out of your way." The look that she gave me was stern as if to say _who do you think you are? _But fortunately she did not care enough to put up a fuss," floor 4, room C12"

I nodded at her and turned to run down the hallway and up the stairs as fast as my legs could mutter in this form. I skipped every fith step and scaled the four floors and a matter of seconds. I burst through the double doors, my shoes made squeky noises against the well polished hospital floor. People stared, nurses complained, But I didn't care. They could all go to hell for all I was concerned._ C10, C11, C12!_ My eyes found the door and almost as if my feet had hit a glue trap my feet locked stiffly in pace in front of the door. I slowly raised my hand to the door and entered. Their he was, my weak looking father, in the bed strapped into so many medical wires and tubes that he hardly looked alive. But still, with all the medical crap connected to him, he looked well….peaceful..

I walked towards him and crouched next to his bed, even bent down in this position my body still loomed over the low bed. Tears began to build, my mental battle against them was futile. Two cold drops of sad water escaped my tear ducks. "Dd..Dad..Im..So sorry dad." I looked up for the first time. I was not alone of course. Sam was their, Carlisle, and…….Bella..  
My heart did not have room to feel sad from the sight of my lost love, but I was still observant enough to notice the red flush in her face, which ment.. She was still human. That one peace of happiness remained. Thank you Bella. That might be enough to get me through this. "What happened? What's wrong with him?" I demanded to the medical blood sucker standing trying to look apologetic, "He had a massive stroke and is in danger of heart failure. The medication should keep him thought. He will be fine so long as his body does not reject the medicine. In cases such as his we don't know for sure. Personnaly I would say about a 75 chance of a full recovery." I tensed at his words, how could he speak about my fathers life so calmly? The Stupid leeches had no connect of mortal life, and to think that Bella would be one of them!" and the other 25?" Carlisle looked as if he did not really want to tell me, but my intense glear told him that if he did not then their would be hell to pay," he..well..He will die" I already knew this, but I had to be sure. But what I could not help but think. Did this happen because of me? Was this because of worry that he had for me? I thought back to the last words that I herd my dad say. _"No to late"_ but now I was afraid that I was just that. Too late.

I stayed their all night long, Sam left, then Carlisle, but Bella, she stayed. I hated that she was their more than anything. Because she was not their for me, she was most likely not even their for my dad, she was their because she felt guilty. Unlike that leech Edward, _I_ knew what Bella was thinking, I knew how her mind worked, I knew how she would blame herself for all of this. She had linked it all back to her, Billy was in the hospital because I ran away, I ran away because she broke my heart. This was the self terminating path that Bella always seemed to think.

Billy was sound asleep, I did not need the monitar to tell that his heart rate was steady, I could hear it as clearly as if I was inside his body. I could tell it was getting late, the moon was high in the sky. I still had not removed myself from my postion at the side of my father "You do not have to be here you know. Its not your fault" I could tell that I had taken her by surprise, she looked like she was about to protest. I had told here the one that she dreaded for me to say. She opened her mouth to speak but I did not want to here a word," I said.. Its not your fault, You do _not_ have to be here. My father will be fine your presence is not needed. I do not want your Husband to worry about yet." I paused," and I dam sure don't wont him coming here to get you" their was enough venom in my voice to kill a mammoth. Tears started to form in her eyes like they always did, her face flustered, "Jake..Why do you have to be this way? Billy was my friend!" her words infuriated me," Billy was a lot of peoples friend, and you don't see any of them here do you!?" I hissed. Her head dropped, " They've all been here Jake, he has been here for days. You have been gone for two weeks" She sounded like she was getting defensive but I was ready to counter, "Then why is I that you decide to stay now? I cant imagine that you have stayed here all night since he first got here. I am positive that _He _would not allow you to go anywhere that he felt would upset you, because we all know he is _in tune_ your emotions." The sarcasim was easily seen, she pouted but then sat down in the chair in the corner," I came every night Jake…but not because I felt guilty, because I was worried about Billy..and you" her voice sounded sad and hurt but I was already to worked up to care, " About me? Im not the one in the hospital in case you forgot."

"I know that but I also know that you are a softy on the inside, and that no one could make you feel better besides me. I jus..just wanted to help Jake" her tears were in full force now. Leaving a small puddle on the floor."Bella. _I_ am fine. At least I am as fine as Im going to be, I don't know what made you think that your presence would make me feel better. I am trying to be a friend, I am trying to deal with loosing you. But to be honest you being here Is just making it harder on me. I cant deal with you right now, my heart cant deal with you right now. I don't have time nor space in myself for the feeling of loss and defeat that I get when being around you. Please Bella, Go home, go to the Cullens, go to La Push. I don't care, just leave now Bella. You reak of vampire. Do you think my dad wants to smell that when he wakes up? Just go, go back to _Him_. He will keep you away from sorrow." I did not have time to regret those words, maybe because I ment every word.

Bella looked at me, I knew that I had just twisted the knife that was already in her back. But for some reason I did not care, my mind and soul could not process so many things at once, the guilt and sadness that I felt from my dad was all I could manage, her being their was just going to make me feel worse. I already told her before, this would have to be a _long distance friendship_. Bella stood up and turned her back to me, she stood at the door and said back in a voice so low that a human would never hear," Im sorry Jake…. For everything."


End file.
